Mark Twain


I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

"Always do right. That will gratify some of the people, and astonish the rest.

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."

"It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear."

"The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet."

"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

"I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse."

"In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination."


Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.